//A poem for today's sunset

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Thursday
June 4th, 2020
7:00 pm

It’s day eighty of my own personal lock down and though I watch an average of twenty-two sunsets per day, today’s sunset felt so beautiful, it can easily be described as a person, so here's a poem I wrote to today's sunset// A list of things I’d like to say to today’s sunset//
I hope you’re doing okay, I know the more time we spend here the more comfortable and uncomfortable we get but we’ll get through this// this too shall pass, and even if it doesn’t, it won’t always feel like this// I’ve been listening to Ed Sheeran’s A-Team on repeat, as I write this. I was thirteen the first time I ever heard that song and I wish I could feel all that I did when I first heard the story behind it// I’ve always thought of myself as more of a story than a person, which is to say, I’m always looking at myself in retrospect// I’m either a win or a regret// there’s nothing I’d like to change about this moment right now// I wish I could save all that I’m feeling right now, only to feel again on a bad day// 2020 just feels like a lot of days, more of them bad than I’d like to admit and I’m working on myself, I really am which is to say I’m breaking down and having a relapse every two and a half days, but they say it gets ugly before it gets better// this isn’t as tough as I thought it’d be// sometimes, it is tougher// I hope it gets better soon// I hope you feel better soon//


Till I was nine, I thought rainbows were a myth. I couldn’t believe something so beautiful could be so real. I watched my first rainbow during my lunch break in school, back in fourth grade, and life’s never been the same again. Of course, a fourth grader’s life can never really stay as it is forever, you have to learn long division at one point, no matter how terrified you are of it. And I guess, that’s what I’ve spent the most of this year learning, how you have to let go and accept change, no matter how much it makes you cry or shit your pants or run away. It is hard though, it is SO incredibly hard but I guess you get used to it or you get through it. I hope you can find the courage to do that too. I hope you feel okay soon.
I hope you're doing okay and that you’re having more good days than bad ones, and that there are things that make you happy even on the bad ones! If nothing else, I need you to remember that the only way out is through, and that you’ll get through.
I hope this makes you laugh or smile or remember how you felt the first time you saw a rainbow. And when you get a minute, tell me how your day was and what colour you’d like to call today’s sky!

I hope you have a good day today! 

take care!
emmess





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