fourteen bullets at an empty heart.

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(i) Thirteen bullets pointed at my heart, 
and I stare at the revolver as you load the fourteenth, 
and you say I’m not strong enough.
(ii) Would you listen if I called you by my name?
(iii) Last year, I apologised to you for apologising too much, 
and you said you didn’t want to hear me say another word. 
I told you I’m sorry and walked away.
(iv) I don’t know why I keep saying 
the same words over and over again, to you.
(v) I wrote letters to you when I didn’t know you.
(vi) I’ve never known anyone but you.
(vii) I don’t ever want to know anyone but you.



(viii) We’re a tragedy, my heart. 
We always beat at the wrong moments. 
I call you by my name, 
and you whisper yours,
until I’ve forgotten every sound, 
that isn’t your name.
(ix) Sometimes, I wish I knew how to play music, 
I’d not stop playing until every note 
reminds you of every breath 
that I take for you.
(x) I’m too much.
(xi) I’m always too much, but enough.
(xii) I’ve spent my entire life figuring out 
how much is enough.
(xiii) I just know I’m not, 
at least for you.

_fourteen bullets at an empty heart. 

emmess 
18/07