(i) Thirteen bullets pointed at my heart,
and I stare at the revolver as you load the fourteenth,
and you say I’m not strong enough.
(ii) Would you listen if I called you by my name?
(iii) Last year, I apologised to you for apologising too much,
and you said you didn’t want to hear me say another word.
I told you I’m sorry and walked away.
(iv) I don’t know why I keep saying
the same words over and over again, to you.
(v) I wrote letters to you when I didn’t know you.
(vi) I’ve never known anyone but you.
(vii) I don’t ever want to know anyone but you.
(viii) We’re a tragedy, my heart.
We always beat at the wrong moments.
I call you by my name,
and you whisper yours,
until I’ve forgotten every sound,
that isn’t your name.
(ix) Sometimes, I wish I knew how to play music,
I’d not stop playing until every note
reminds you of every breath
that I take for you.
(x) I’m too much.
(xi) I’m always too much, but enough.
(xii) I’ve spent my entire life figuring out
how much is enough.
(xiii) I just know I’m not,
at least for you.
•
•
•
_fourteen bullets at an empty heart.
emmess
18/07
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