to heartbeat that feels like conversation

by 21:32 0 comments
I feel like I keep writing the same words 
over,
and over,
and over,
again. 
Maybe because a lot of me is still stuck 
in the words 
I never said 
and
the words I did.
I keep thinking the same thoughts
over,
and over,
again, 
hoping that the next time I think of them, 
they wouldn’t be the same anymore. 
Maybe they never really are. 
I feel like I can never really accept the past for what it is.
I keep trying to change it within my head, 
to a more complete version of it.
I fill in the sound of my laughter 
here and there 
and a couple of sunsets 
to remind myself 
that this too shall pass.



On days that it gets too hard, 
I think of days that make me 
who I am, 
the conversations
paper planes, 
and hope
on my roof 
with people I feel infinite around 
poetry that makes me want to live, 
want to ache, want to be.
the last time you smiled, 
when you uttered my name, 
and it didn’t feel alien on your tongue,
my heart when it remembers how to breathe 
and why it breathes, 
directions that take me home,
maps that remind me of one.
a little of you 
in a lot of what I’ve been. 
I tell myself that I’ll be okay
every day 
I remind myself that I am.
Maybe, one day, 
I will be.



_to heartbeat that feels like conversation 

Cheers to days you feel infinite and people who make you want to!


07/04 

National Poetry Writing Month, Day 7. 
#napowrimo