I can’t find the right filter for the photographs of you that I never clicked. I made an album for them but it sits a little empty these days. My camera feels a lot empty these days. But It’s a lot heavier that it used to be.
I wonder if photographs fill a camera or is it the lack of them that makes them so heavy.
So distant.
So far away.
I remember to clean the lens everyday. You always hated pictures with that kind of blur. I always felt it made them more real. More you, less made up.
I click a lot of pictures of sunsets that remind me why I ever started clicking pictures at all.
I remember the first time I showed my camera to you. I felt as if you held all my memories in your hand and they couldn’t have been safer. So vulnerable. Yet so much at home.
I wonder what my camera feels when I walk around with it every day, without ever clicking a picture or deleting the ones I do.
I feel like photographs can never really have the kind of permanence that your memory does, remembering the exact pattern of your heartbeat in the minute I first met you.
I feel like I can never capture anything the way I want to.
The photographs I click do tell a billion stories about why they were never clicked. I don’t know why I ever stopped clicking pictures at all.
I’m sure my camera misses you as much as I do.
•
•
•
_I tried to capture the universe in you.
29/03
emmess
I wonder if photographs fill a camera or is it the lack of them that makes them so heavy.
So distant.
So far away.
I remember to clean the lens everyday. You always hated pictures with that kind of blur. I always felt it made them more real. More you, less made up.
I click a lot of pictures of sunsets that remind me why I ever started clicking pictures at all.
I remember the first time I showed my camera to you. I felt as if you held all my memories in your hand and they couldn’t have been safer. So vulnerable. Yet so much at home.
I wonder what my camera feels when I walk around with it every day, without ever clicking a picture or deleting the ones I do.
I feel like photographs can never really have the kind of permanence that your memory does, remembering the exact pattern of your heartbeat in the minute I first met you.
I feel like I can never capture anything the way I want to.
The photographs I click do tell a billion stories about why they were never clicked. I don’t know why I ever stopped clicking pictures at all.
I’m sure my camera misses you as much as I do.
•
•
•
_I tried to capture the universe in you.
29/03
emmess
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