by 23:48 0 comments
you carry around a lot of pain for one person, you know?
So when they tell you to stand taller, you stoop further.
When they say that you're not alone, you get worse because you know you've never been more alone.
When they tell you, they know what you feel like, with nothing in their eyes, absolutely nothing, you know they feel nothing.
And when you say that it hurts, they scramble to find wounds on your body or scars down your spine, but get nothing so they declare it doesn't.
Some days they'll make jokes and pretend that you're alright and some days you'd like to, too but then it never works out that way.
Some poets will try to immortalise your pain and others will beautify it, paint it on a canvas with other beautiful things and call it a masterpiece.
They will tell you that your pain is nothing, that you feel nothing. You should just ignore it. And somehow they've gotten everything in your life figured out, from the tip of your tongue till the last of your breath.
They will give you a schedule to feel pain, when you should and when you shouldn't.
And the others will tell you to stop thinking about it, like there's a switch that you could simply turn off.

But the thing is, no one has ever been where you have and no one ever knows what it feels like, for your pain is only yours and no one ever gets to put a tag on it and tell you its worth.

Some days you'd want to hug your tears and embrace the hollowness and on others, you'd try to escape it. But you know that there's no escape and the chase is worth nothing, nothing at all.

And you can't leave your pain out there either, you have to carry it along and wear it around your neck like you're proud of it. And maybe, on some days, you are too.

Because only you know how a room can suddenly feel emptier even though nothing has changed and how you choke on every word you utter, and they call it poetry.

No one feels the way that you do and no one ever will. But when the lights go off and you start to hear your heartbeat, know that it can't get any worse, so it shall only get better, if it will.
Know that it's okay to feel the way that you're feeling and know that your tears aren't your weakness.
Your pain doesn't define you.
It completes you.
Stop running from it.
Stop holding on to it.
Just let it be, as it is.
Let it be.

You are not your worst pain, my darling.
And you shall never be. 


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