the first time I visited your grave, I laughed.
I laughed more than I inhaled , i laughed more than I exhaled
more than I should have, much more than I could have
for that was the only thing I knew, my darling
after all emotion had escaped
and i knew i couldn't give up
and for the first time ever i knew what it felt to stop
to stop wanting to breathe, to inhale, to exhale, to laugh
to stop wanting to be.
for all breath hadn't just escaped you, it had also escaped me.
and so i laugh
for i know that the dead need to be buried
yet i'm still here.
and i'm stuck
i'm stuck
i'm stuck
i'm stuck
i'm stuck
i'm stuck
for darling, i'm stuck.
tick
tock
tick
tock
tick
tock
tick
and for the first time ever i don't hear the tock.
so i laugh
and i never know where to be
so i sit in front of your grave
because that's the only place i can ever really be.
and i laugh
for all i wanted was to belong
but you were too free for me
and now i can almost hear the numbness in that lost tock
for tears roll down my left cheek
as i take your right hand
and place it against my heartbeat
trying to make you feel that it's gone
and i try to hold you in my arms
but for the first time ever i hear time hault
tick
tock
tick
tock
tick
darling
this silence doesn't stop
but time did
for you and me
and it knows i can't feel
anything
without you.
