Burn

by Muskan Sethi 21:54 0 comments Fiction Poetry

I know they’ll tell you things you never wanted them to.

I have a story for you today,

I have my story to tell you,

And darling if you listen closely,

Maybe you’ll find yourself too.

I was four when it first happened,

I didn’t know what to do.

He came at me in the middle of the night,

When I least expected him to.

I was nervous, scared, alone with just my fears.

He told me to stop, to stop with those tears.

I believed him, I trusted him,

There was nothing else I could do.

I kept up with it, cooperated,

Maybe eventually I’d get through.

But he came again, once every night.

Going at it again, laughing at my plight.

I screamed, I shouted, I begged for him to stop.

Hoping they’d hear me this time, hoping they’d make him stop.

But nothing ever helped, my pain just grew.

I thought they’d find out, but they never knew.

And I bled to sleep every single night,

Gulping down my courage, wishing I could fight.

I was devoid of my own safety, a saviour of his manhood.

Shame took over me, I thought I’d fight back but I never could.

I was a predator of hope, a prey of my own destiny.

Nothing but a slave to that man’s vain hegemony.

And when they asked me what was wrong, what had I been going through,

I looked into their eyes, begging them to understand, but they never knew.

He touched me in places, I never wanted him to.

He told me I’d heal but these scars don’t let me to.

Those bruises remind me of everything that I’ve been through,

And this world tells me otherwise, but I know the truth.

They tell me things that I never want them to,

They tell me it’s my fault that I let him through.

They blame me for everything that he did to me,

And like you, I remain silent, hoping they’d see.

How that man came at me in the middle of the night,

How I became a petty demonstration of his shallow might,

How he took away my innocence, my childhood too,

How he took away my everything from me, before I ever knew.

That man still comes to me in my dreams, every night.

I’m scared of closing my eyes, of slipping into the night,

Because I know if I do, I will never get through,

The pain would be too much for me, too much for you too.

So I stay awake, thinking of the days when I didn’t know,

About the symphonies of this world that only show,

How I’m nothing but a slave to that man’s desires,

How I have to burn yet save myself from these fires.

Darling, I know this world will tell you things that you never want them to,

But save yourself darling, save yourself before it gets too late to.

Darling don’t let them take yourself away from you,

Save yourself from these burning flames before you burn out too.

...

To the victims and survivors of sexual abuse, you deserve much more than just survival. Never let them burn you out.