Master Of My Own Destiny

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Long live my sorrow, my familiar pain,
Long live this vile drenched rain.
Insolent to these hopeless battles.
Indifferent to these ugly slaughters.

My tears remain my only wished company,
My fears become my signature symphony.
The futile remnants of my dreams encase my mind.
The nostalgia engulfing me, making me reason blind.

Deafening, torturing, earsplitting cries suddenly startle and reach me,
Dragging me out of my sadistic utopia, the ecstatic gathered crowds I see.
They ambush each other with deceitful colours, scream with added fervour.
With their masochist celebrations, my fragile heart does tremor.


I spot violent smiles on all their faces, I see their hypocritical laughter.
For a minute, tempted to go and join them, but I did know better.
My line of vision blurs as blots of colour cover my tinted mirrors.
I quickly wipe the smudge off, as I stare at the devils and the sinners.

Relief creeps over me as I realize they haven’t yet noticed me,
Haven’t yet invited me to join their diabolical company.
 I wipe a lonely tear off my poignant cheek, steal innocent glances from them,
Stumbling into the shallow darkness, away from all this mayhem.



Lonely, mournful and abandoned, wishing for redemption,
Today I feel unusually different, wanting to seek retribution.
Today I forsake my former identity, willing to change, to take a chance.
I gather all my remaining courage to walk out of my trance.



I tremble a bit as I open the door and leave my only safe asylum,
Fearing what will come next, my future as an unasked question.                                                                 
They mock me, laugh at me, making me want to surrender.
But today I won’t care about them, I will keep myself together.  


I squint as I open my eyes to glance at Her, standing tall in front of me,
Her beautiful aura, her enchanting glaze and her divine simplicity.

Glistening in her crimson armour,
Mesmerizing in her beckoning fervour.
Hopeful in her glimmering eyes,
Defying all these fastidious ties.

I felt grappled by her fearsome gaze,
Began losing sanity in that misty maze.
I looked towards the enthusiastic crowd,
My ears filled with chants defiantly loud.

The hurtling procession pushed me ahead.
 From these dark covered faces, I did feel afraid.
And yet I found some hope in her radiant eyes.
Yet I felt powerful in my thin disguise.


She radiated her power, transmitted energy.
Engulfing me in her intense beauty.
She gave me reason, she gave me a goal.
She gave me inspiration to ignite my soul.

That day of Durga Puja, I decided to break free,
That day of Durga Puja, I ousted fate’s cruelty.
Ma Durga, you gave me courage and serenity,


Ma Durga you made me the master of my own destiny...