I heard him #JeSuisCharlie

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Fumbling down the line, 'Marry Me', he said. 
I gasped, I could even hear his frightened breath.
And I smiled slowly as I pictured us together,
Holding hands, by each other's side forever. 

I still remember that moment like it was five minutes ago,
The moment that took away my everything in a mere blow.
And I still remember his scream, his shout for me.
I still remember everything like it was a part of me. 

I wish I could go back, go back right to the beginning
I wish I could tell him my yes, before the fatal ending.
Then maybe that moment could have delayed itself.
Then maybe he could have known I'd say a yes. 

But it all had happened, and I know it did. 
In seconds, my life had already fallen into bits.
My love had died, destroyed any vestiges of hope,
My happiness had fled, with all this it couldn't cope. 

The last time I saw him he said he'd love me forever,
I grinned at him, hoping we'd always be together.
That day he called and asked to see me at noon,
He said he had a surprise for me and I'd know soon.

I laughed and squeaked with all my happiness,
Excitedly I wondered, maybe I'd wear that dress.
And then went along with my usual day.
Innocent and unaware of destiny's fair play. 

And then he texted me, sent me a cartoon that he drew.
He was absolutely amazing, almost too good to be true.
Around ten minutes later, my cell phone buzzed.
I picked it up, on the other end was my beloved. 

Fumbling down the line,'Marry Me', he said.
I gasped. I could even hear his frightened breath. 

And before I could answer, 
before I could shout out a yes.
He was gone forever, 
he had dropped down dead.

I heard the sound of that gunshot, 
I heard him calling for me.
I heard the laughter of that man, 
who conspired with destiny.

I heard his scream, his cry of pain,
I heard my shouts that were in vain. 
And I heard my name, then his last breath. 
I heard the fatal chains of his cruel death.

And then I heard silence, utter and absolute.
I heard my misery, though it was mute. 
I heard reason slowly stepping away from me,
I heard my numbness, my denial of reality.


Seventeen hours later, I woke up in the ICU.
My soul dead, my heart barely getting through. 
But I knew I had no one, just myself to blame,
Now I will take my yes, to my beckoning grave. 

I felt numb, devoid of all pain and fear,
I felt hopeless, wishing he was here.
And then I realised, we would never have our forever.
And I realised that never again will we be together.

They say he was a liberal cartoonist, hence he's dead,
I refuse to believe this, to me this doesn't make sense. 
He died because he followed his passion, he drew.
He died because this world couldn't accept the truth.

He was an artist, so they hired him.
He was an illusionist, so they loved him.
He was a non conformist, so they respected him.
But he was a cartoonist, so they Killed him. 

And those two beautiful words still resonate in my mind, 
Those hopes, those broken dreams that now drive me blind. 
Because I heard him and I still continue to do so,
But sadly my answer, he would never get to know. 

Fumbling down the line, 'Marry Me', he said. 
I gasped, I could even hear his frightened breath. 
But I couldn't answer, I couldn't shout out my 'yes', 
Because he was gone forever, he had dropped down dead. 

-Muskan Sethi


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